A Case Of The Mondays

…and yes, I’m fully aware today was Tuesday. Regardless, it stunk like a bad Monday.

Little Miss has a double ear infection and conjunctivitis. Although she doesn’t feel entirely sick, she certainly looks it. Monday hubs and I played tag-team-parenting as he stayed home with her in the morning (and took her in to the doc) and I stayed home with her in the afternoon. It was an uneventful Monday as far as my part was concerned, and I even got to nap during her nap.

Today, however. Oh my. Today I am 11 weeks pregnant. That translates to, “Today I am a hormonal, raging lunatic.” I slept through the entire night, which means I missed waking up to pee, which means I was a hurting unit by the time my alarm went off. I got up and got ready for work while hubs helped me get sickie poo ready for the sitter. Everything was fine and dandy…until I got to work.

I made myself oatmeal, like I have a bazillion times before. This time, however, some of it decided to clump together and not absorb any water. I took a bite, inhaled dry oats and maple flavor powder, and started to choke nearly to death. I’m not sure why we as humans try to cough so graciously and not make it look like it’s a big deal, even though we are getting no air to our lungs, and are panicking as our life flashes before our very eyes. My eyes were watering, my face was red/blue/purple, and I could not catch a clear breath for anything. God decided to spare me today, and I finally got settled down, and was able to wash my throat clear of any deadly oatmeal residue. I may be the only person in the world to have choked on her instant oatmeal, but if I save a life by stating it’s possible, then by golly, you’re welcome. In all of the coughing and gagging commotion, however, I did something very bad and very painful to my lower back. It’s nearly 12 hours later and I’m still wincing in pain every time I have to stand, sit, walk, or move in general. Guess I should call the chiropractor…

I took a morning trip to the restroom. TMI? Maybe, but it’s part of my awful day. I went to the third stall – because the last time I used the first stall, a freak-o purposefully peeked in the gap between the stall and the wall to see who was in there. Hope she liked what she saw! So from now on, I use the 3rd stall if it’s available, because you can’t peek in to that one. Today, someone came in while I was occupying S3. No big deal. However, they tried the door. Apparently the fact that it was closed didn’t register to them. Once she found it locked, she went to the first stall to take care of business. However, once she finished, she came BACK to S3, starting rattling the door, and trying to pull it open, as I’m shrieking, “I’M IN HERE!” She hears me and replies, “Oh, I thought it had locked itself, and I was about ready to crawl underneath to unlock it. Sorry to bother you!”

Are. You. KIDDING?! Why is your first thought upon entering a bathroom, that a closed door has locked itself, and not that someone might be in there? I’m sorry I pee so quietly!! I will be sure to make quite the ruckus from here on out! Un-beeee-lievable. Unbelievable. Buncha crazy bathroom freak-o’s.

That rattled me, on top of nearly dying at my desk moments before. I started working on a project for my boss that had me arguing with him twice, apologizing to him for arguing, apologizing for realizing I had been doing something wrong for a while in creating a report for him, and crying three times. At one point I said, “I need you to get out of my office!”
“No, I’m not leaving until we figure this out.”
“Then I’m going to sit here and cry until you do.”

He’s been through this pregnancy thing with me before. God bless him, I’m not sure why I still have a job.

I literally worked up a sweat today trying to get the project finished for him – and not only finished, but done well and done right – before his meeting this afternoon. I made it with about 15 seconds to spare and said, “I hope I’ve redeemed myself.” He graciously replied, “Of course you have.”

I’m sure he was just grateful I didn’t start crying. Again.

When I left work,(it was a cloudy, windy, drizzly, cold day today) I hit the button on my remote to unlock my vehicle, when the sliding passenger door started to open. I must have been button happy. I got in and it took three times before the door would finally close. We have always had problems with that door and of course that’s the one I had to accidentally open. Not a big deal, but it wasn’t so “cool” to freeze my tush off in the vehicle while trying to get a possessed door to stay closed, after having choked, hurt my back, and been the victim of yet another bathroom idiot.

Now that I’m typing all of this out, it doesn’t seem like it was the worst day ever, but I assure you as I was experiencing it, it was tumultuous. I can only hope that the hormones decide to take a little break after being so very active today. And that my back fixes itself magically in my sleep. Goodness knows I owe the chiropractor the next three month’s wages already.

Here’s to Wednesday. Cheers.

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