“How Could I Ever?”

About ten minutes before I became a bride, I wanted children. Hubs did, too. At some point in the months following, we both reached a point where we weren’t sure becoming parents was going to be something we pursued.

We didn’t have children for nearly seven years. One prevailing thought I had over and over during that time was, “How could I ever bring kids into this messed up world?”

If you’re trying to do the math, I’ll tell you we got married in 2003, and Little Miss was born in 2010. The timing doesn’t really matter, though. I’m pretty sure every generation that has ever walked the face of the earth has thought to themselves at one point or another, “We live in absolutely atrocious times.”

I remember walking down the hallway of our apartment after a long day at work, feeling dog tired, and thinking, “How could I ever be a mom, when I’m this tired after a day of work?”

Or the time my tears dropped into the checkbook register as I balanced it hoping to not put a negative sign in front of the final balance. How could we ever be responsible parents when we could barely keep food on the table or bills paid for just the two of us?

And don’t forget (insert world event here) or (insert group of people here) or (insert political agenda here)… How could I ever bring children into this chaotic and corrupt world?

I believed, and I think Hubs did, too, that we were being responsible and loving by not bringing children into the world. The world is a cruel place, after all.

When Little Miss entered our lives, everything changed. I wanted more little versions of us. Four seemed like a good number. I delivered three babies and we have the honor and privilege of raising two of them while Harlynn waits for us on the other side of heaven.

Side note: if you’re reading this and you’re of childbearing age, have all the kids you possibly can. That’s my stance.

How could I ever bring kids into this dark and ugly world?

Oh how foolish I was – we were – to think that.

The world is darker and uglier now than it was in 2010 when Little Miss was born, or in 2003 when Hubs and I said, “I do.” And do I still think you should have all the children you can?

Yes.

The long and short of it is children make the world lighter and brighter. Being a parent is the hardest and the highest calling, and it’s also the most rewarding work an adult can ever do.

We may have some crazier, more chaotic times ahead of us. We may face trials and struggles the likes of which we’ve never imagined. My children might suffer through it, mightily.

Then again… they might not.

We could be on the cusp of the brightest and most fruitful days of our lives. The best may, in fact, be yet to come. And my children might reap the benefit of being alive in this very day and age.

When the Lord said, “Be fruitful and multiply”, He didn’t add an asterisk. He didn’t stipulate “only if things are going well.” or “only if you make enough money.”

The Lord didn’t guarantee an easy road for any of us. Not for my children, not for my grandchildren. Not for myself, my parents, or my family tree going back generations. Yet all of them went forth and multiplied.

My one regret with having children is not having them sooner. I was halfway to the nursing home by the time I got pregnant with Little Miss. Not really, but I might have had a little more energy if I had started before I was 29.

How could I ever bring children into this world?

Oh but dear! How could this world have any future without the bright smiles, loud giggles, and creative ideas of its children? The darkest corners of the earth need the brightest lights, and my children have been that for me.

Solomon said there is nothing new under the sun. I have to believe he’s right, and I also believe there have been people over eons who have wondered, “Is it really the right thing to do to bring a child into this world? During this economy? During this situation? Facing this conflict?”

The answer is an emphatic yes. It’s the right thing to do. It’s not always the easiest thing to do or even the most intuitive thing to do. But it’s forever the right thing to do.

How could I ever bring a child into this world? With the trust and obedience in faith to God. And the reward will pay out a bazillion times over.

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