I Can’t Even Believe It

“I can’t even believe it” is probably a phrase we’ve all uttered multiple times during 2020’s reign of insanity.

It’s also a phrase I’ve uttered repeatedly since this past weekend.

You know the saga – or part of it, anyway. Just to recap:

January 1st, New Year’s Day, the Lord prompted me, “This is your year to prepare.” I didn’t know for what, or how. But I trusted the Lord and walked forward in what the Spirit stirred me to do.

March: the Covid came. Everything changed.

May: Hubs learned he could work remotely and we discussed moving. Also, my family (sister, parents) were discussing moving.

June: we offered on a house in western South Dakota. Thought it was where we were supposed to be. The property was lovely, the house was… livable. The deal fell through.

July: we thought it only made sense if we were all moving at the same time, it probably should be to the same area. We started narrowing our search to a radius closer to where my family was relocating.

That search wasn’t going well. We wanted rural property, and the ability to keep our chickens (and roosters!). Not only are they ultimately important on a homestead, but they provide breakfast every day, and sometimes a dinner or two. Their role in our homestead life is critical, and covenants in rural areas were not allowing for chickens.

I was feeling hopeless. I was thinking we were going to end up homeless. Hopeless and homeless is a dangerous situation to find yourself in.

Then, details I can’t exactly explain began to fall in to place. And now we’ve had an offer accepted on an absolute dream house.

The house is more than livable, it’s phenomenal. The property is more than lovely, it’s jaw-dropping. No covenants against chickens. There is no reason we should have been able to find or purchase this property. I can’t even believe it. Except…only God. Only. God.

South Dakota is a little cutthroat in the sense that until the day we close, they can still show the house and accept another offer. If that were to happen, we’d have 48 hours to close on our house essentially. But we’re faithful in the sense that God led us to this Canaan and that’s not going to be an issue. We’re praying against it, anyway.

This is something that has really struck me. I was disappointed when the other deal fell through, and especially in how it was handled. I thought it had set us back and ruined our plans.

I was s-t-r-e-s-s-e-d the last few weeks about finding another house, having to sacrifice our homesteading lifestyle and live in town, having to give up the flock I fought so hard to protect and raise and nurture so we could breed and raise our own chicks in the future.

Yet all this time…. all this time, the Lord had another plan. The other deal fell through because it wasn’t what He had for us. Did we have to suffer through some consequences? Absolutely. We both even realized we had moved forward on that deal when we had multiple gut-feelings to run instead. We repented.

And now? And now we have been given a shot at more acreage, more house, and closer proximity to my family. Instead of hours away, we’ll only be mere minutes. I can’t even believe it.

I am not good at waiting. I am not good at relinquishing control. I had to wait – a long while – and I had absolutely zero control over our situation. I was a wreck. I whined, I cried, I stressed, I snapped. And then the Lord pulled back the curtain and said, “But look at what I have prepared for you.”

I have prayed incessantly the Lord would lead us to our Canaan. That’s been my prayer all along since this entire thing began to unfold in May. And now, we’re heading there.

September will be a big month. Closing on the sale of our Minnesota home, closing on the purchase of our South Dakota home. Moving our possessions, our family, our chickens (and roosters!) to a new place. Starting over in some things, and continuing on in others.

And I am reminded of how often I am just like an Israelite. When the Lord is leading us to our promised land, all I can do is cry and complain about what’s not going my way.

When glory goes before us, all I can do is stare down at my feet, angry at the control I don’t have.

When what we’re leaving behind holds no candle to what we’re gaining and I stomp around in a tantrum because I can’t see behind His curtain when I want, or as far ahead as I want.

I can’t even believe it. And so again, I repent.

And when we sign on the line and move into our promised land, I can’t wait to welcome you there to show you how only God could have made it happen the way it did, in the timing it took place.

Only God could take a whiny stress-ball like me and give me something better than I could ever have hoped for. Only God…

I will serve only God.

4 Replies to “I Can’t Even Believe It”

  1. Val,
    Thank-you so much for your inspiring stories! Your testimony of the many ways God has provided and made a way for you and your family brings me much hope and joy knowing only God can do the impossible.
    He is SO FAITHFUL!!
    I wish you all much joy and love in your new location and home!
    Love, Sarah

  2. Love this. I’m so blessed, encouraged, and challenged by everything you so beautifully share. Miss you, my friend.

  3. Wow this is so exciting! God really knows what he is doing. I hope this is a great place to raise your kids & chickens and to see God’s kingdom grow. Love you guys!

    -Rachel

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.