I can’t find my checkbook.

My parents came and went. They were here for a week and spent some lovey-dovey time with Haley. They also spoiled Brent and me a little…so it was another good visit. :o) They both did so great with Haley and she seemed to enjoy their cuddles and kisses as well. They didn’t even mind when I broke down and cried and said the word “frick”. Good times. (thank you, lack of sleep) Frick – how did that word even come to be?

Last Thursday I took Haley to her follow-up pediatrician appointment, and she received four vaccines. One was administered orally and followed by the three remaining shots. After the oral vaccine, I asked the nurse if I could follow it with a “chaser” from Haley’s bottle. I fed Haley some from her bottle as she lay there on the exam table, looking all around and exploring the unfamiliar surroundings with her sweet, innocent eyes. She was so cute, and cooing, as the nurse prepped the needles.

Then the nurse stabbed my baby. Right in the leg.

Haley’s eyes got HUGE and she let out a wail I have never heard from her before, nor did I know she was capable of making.

Then the nurse stabbed my baby twice more.

Haley stopped breathing, she was crying so hard. I was failing at consoling her, and I started crying right along with her. There is nothing I have experienced that compares to the horror I felt watching the pain come across Haley’s face, and hearing her wail so intensely. My heart just sank. Yes I know vaccines are beneficial and yes I know that kids get them all the time. But I think, especially after what I’ve experienced, it’s horrible. Awful. The nurse left. Thankfully, because had she not, I would have banished her from the room for the pain she caused my little girl.

I got myself together, and after a few minutes, Haley was calmed down. I loaded her up in the carseat and began the trek home. I held her and cuddled her and did as much kissing and hugging as I could muster. At some point, I had to cook dinner. I put her in her bouncy chair and began to cook. Donnie, our live-in baseball player, came upstairs. Haley had started to get fussy so I asked Donnie if he would mind feeding her for me. He kindly obliged. After I ate, and after Haley finished her bottle, she started to get extremely fussy. A kind of fussy I have not heard from her. Brent came in and concurred that we had never heard this kind of cry from her. The only thing that consoled her was holding her to our chest and patting her back just so. The moment we stopped doing either of those things, the painful cries came back. My poor baby. My poor, poor baby!

The good news is we don’t have to go back for more vaccines for two months. The bad news is we have to go back for more vaccines in two months.

Since that day, she has been her normal, adorable self. She coos, she cuddles, and she only gets mildly fussy when she’s hungry. She has been much better about sleeping at night, and we have been much better about adjusting to her nighttime schedule. Win-win.

I also experienced my first Mother’s Day! There was a time we weren’t sure if I would have Haley by Mother’s Day. Then there was a time seven weeks ago when we had her by emergency cesarean. Weird!

Brent let me sleep all through Saturday night, and he got up to change her and feed her. It was heavenly. He also brought me breakfast in bed with a card. The card had a picture of President Obama on the front and said something about wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day from the White House and on the inside it said “I thought this would look impressive on your table” or some such nonsense. Signed, “Love, Brent”. I smiled and said thank you and asked him to bring me more chocolate milk. He came back with a real card, and a gift – a bassinet made out of diapers and a receiving blanket! No he didn’t make it, but it is super cute! I told him I was thankful he redeemed himself, because I wasn’t real impressed with the Obama card. It was more for the lack of sentiment rather than the political aspect. So he (Brent) made good and then I thought the whole thing was funny. Brent also barbecued me steaks for dinner – and they were SO SO yummy!! I ate dinner after he let me nap with my baby girl. Yeah, I know! Best day ever!

Today we went to the Preemie Clinic appointment. It was early – as in before 9 a.m. I hit the snooze button and opted for ten more minutes of sleep. The problem is, I opted for ten more minutes of sleep five times. Whoops. So no shower for me, and we were five minutes late to the appointment. Yeah well…. Haley looks great (duh) and is doing really well (Praise God!) and we will go back in a month. Problem is, we still have to keep her on the blasted portable apnea/heart monitor. Apparently she had two episodes of apnea the monitor recorded, and a few drops in heart rate. The apnea never alarmed because it was 18 and 19 seconds – the alarm goes off at 20 seconds. Go figure. So another month of having her wired up and plugged in and carrying it around wherever we go. Bummer. Hopefully there are no more apnea episodes and at next month’s appointment – monitor be gone! (fingers crossed)

Also, today I felt motivated enough to balance our checkbook. I haven’t balanced it since I was admitted to the hospital back in March. Problem is, I cannot find the checkbook. I have looked a lot of places – obviously not everywhere, because I would have found it if I had looked in every possible place. I have no idea where it could be!! So I couldn’t balance the checkbook. But I did find an $8 check from our insurance company while I was looking. Bonus! So I know we have at least $8. Whew!

It has been a whirlwind these last couple of weeks. I have enjoyed so much spending time with Haley and watching her grow. I cannot believe how big she is (six pounds!) and that she’ll only keep getting bigger. Realizing she won’t forever be able to snuggle under my neck on my chest is bittersweet. I love, love, love being a mommy and I love, love, love my little girl.

So I’m signing off for now. But if you see my checkbook – could you let me know? And maybe balance it for me? Thanks….

3 Replies to “I can’t find my checkbook.”

  1. i'd say, space out the vaccines if you are going through with them all and she's so little, she could wait longer too. Yes, shots are not fun!

  2. cute blog dear! I have not found your checkbook, so good luck on that front. I agree with Lexie on the shot thing. We are waiting until Kynlee is 6 months to start them, she is just too little now. And we are going to be spacing them out when we do start them, such as not all 3 in one day! But it still wont be fun! Happy first mothers day! What a blessing our little girls are! 🙂

  3. Hm…
    1) I pretty much despise balancing the checkbook, so I'll claim I don't know how. Sorry I can't be of help.
    2) I'm a rip it off like a bandaid type of person. Gabe gets his shots all at once, so he can freak out, but doesn't keep getting poked and prodded every few weeks, but instead all at once every few months.
    3) Haley is SOOO adorable and I love the fact that you love hanging out with her as much as you do!

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