I Should’ve Been A Therapist.

Not really. Though it was something I considered at one time, I posses a major character flaw that would prevent me from being a very effective therapist. I tend to personally absorb the problems and struggles of others and, more often than not, place the burden of solving their problems upon my shoulders. I would never be able to leave my work at work – I would internalize the situations of others and carry their situations. I would run myself in to the ground trying to save everyone from further harm and emotional heartache if I were aware of all of the situations and circumstances. I would need to see a therapist just so I could continue being one.

Even still, every once in a while, I come across thoughts and sayings that, if I do say so myself, are pretty insightful. Something a really great therpaist might say.

I don’t have long to gloat about those pearls of wisdom, however, because I usually end up eating them later, or humbly remembering them when I’m going through a situation of my own.

Last night was a lot of fun. Even though I had been emotional a good part of the day, as it was my last day at the job I loved, I was able to really enjoy myself last night while spending time with a few of those coworkers. I enjoyed my time out with good friends and it was a much needed outing. Dinner, trivia, lots of laughs, gross garlic-cheese-bread, and some thought-provoking, intense conversations. It really was a great night.

At one point last night, I said something I felt was rather insightful. As the words were coming out of my mouth, however, I thought to myself, “If you know that, then why can’t you be okay with that, Val?” What I said was, “Sometimes the things in life we need to hear are the hardest things we’ll have to swallow.”

I can recall several times I have prayed and prayed and prayed for an answer, a sign, something….and when I get it, I pray harder and harder for a different one. Geez, God, get it right ~ I don’t want your answer, I want my answer I’ve already thought of to spill forth from you. Duh.

Case and point: leaving a job, boss, coworkers, and work environment I absolutely loved for the option of a more stable position and guaranteed income. I still think I might be crazy for that. But I have to believe I got the answer I needed, and as much as I didn’t want to, I had to act on that.

Here’s where I want to make something perfectly clear. Just because I have faith, and I believe in the God who saves and restores me and who sent his Son for my sins – does not mean I believe I have it “easy”. I also don’t think I’m any better than the next person. I’ve done some things in life I’m outright ashamed of. I still do some things that are pretty questionable, I’m sure. It’s not easy, and it’s not “safe”….it just is. I don’t see myself as having it better than anyone else…but I just might have a bit more hope. With that hope, however, comes the realization that I don’t know it all, and I can’t come up with all of my own answers. This is where the whole “Lean not on your own understanding” comes in to play.

When I pray and pray for an answer and finally get one….it may be the hardest thing I’ll have to swallow. I may prefer the problem over the solution. The answer I’m looking for will sometimes not be the answer I get.

But it will be the answer I need.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD84JeLKw1o]

Open my heart to what you know. So I can stretch, so I can grow. My feelings toss me to and fro. Open my heart to what you know.
Open my eyes to what you see, to understand what I should be. My feelings get the best of me. Open my eyes to what you see.
Open my ears to what you hear, so I can keep you very near. My feelings make it so unclear. Open my ears to what you hear.
Open my heart to what you know. So I can stretch, so I can grow. My feelings toss me to and fro. Open my heart to what you know.

2 Replies to “I Should’ve Been A Therapist.”

  1. Let’s see if I can say something insightful here.

    What I said was, “Sometimes the things in life we need to hear are the hardest things we’ll have to swallow.”

    I can recall several times I have prayed and prayed and prayed for an answer, a sign, something….and when I get it, I pray harder and harder for a different one. Geez, God, get it right ~ I don’t want your answer, I want my answer I’ve already thought of to spill forth from you. Duh.

    The Bible is rife with people who are seeking an answer, but don’t get what they are expecting. First in my mind and in the order of outcome, is the man who asks What shall I do to inherit eternal life? The answer he receives isn’t want he wanted, and he goes away dejected. Now he will end up missing what he wanted because he couldn’t listen to an answer directly from God. Oof.

    The second story came to me in church today(yes, that’s right, I went to church:) ) because the gospel was from John 2, which means that next week is likely about Nicodemus. Nicodemus was a member of the Sanhedrin, or Jewish ruling class. He also asked, albeit indirectly, how he could enter the kingdom of God. He receives the answer that he must be “born again”. The Bible doesn’t go into too much detail about what happens to Nicodemus, as a matter of fact he is only mentioned two other times in the Bible. However, Christian tradition holds that Nicodemus was martyred in the first century, so it stands to reason he took that answer to heart, even if it took a long time. He was a man who knew he was missing something and was willing to listen.

    The last person in this discussion is Peter, because of how fast he is willing to deny an answer he doesn’t like, yet still come out doing the right thing after much tribulation. We are all familiar with the get thee behind me, Satan quote, as well as Peter’s denial of Christ, but he knew the right answers all along, and ended up founding the Christian church.

    So, in the end, it is our own stubbornness that prevents us from seeing the answers right in front of us. But we must remember that God does have answers for us, even if we are sinners or unwilling to listen.

    Luke 19
    9 And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come to this house, forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham.

    10 For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.

    Wow, that got longwinded and hard to follow. Sorry.

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