Why I’m A Horrible Valentine


love valentine

This past Saturday I attended a gathering where the ice breaker was to share about a memorable Valentine’s Day. Some stories were touching, others were humorous, and others admitted they didn’t really have a memorable Valentine’s Day.

When I got home later that morning, I shared with Hubs what the ice breaker was. He laughed and said, “Well you only have one.”

We were engaged and I had big plans for a special Valentine’s Day dinner with Hubs. Well, I guess in that day he would have been FianceeMan. Anyway…

I had planned to make crab legs and whatever else I could afford to serve with it (probably rice. I might have sprung for the flavored Uncle Ben’s, since it was a special occasion…)

I had packed candles to set on the table, cloth napkins, the whole deal.

Then I ended up with strep throat.

Wait a minute, Val, didn’t you have strep throat when you got married?

Oh yes. Yes I did. I had strep throat every time I blinked. The AMA considered renaming it “Val Disease” for how often I came down with it. I digress. Again.

I ended up with strep throat. I couldn’t talk, I could hardly move, and I certainly couldn’t prepare a romantic dinner of crab legs and Uncle Ben’s.

I parked myself in the recliner at Mom and Dad’s house and claimed temporary ownership of the remote control.

Worst Valentine’s ever.

Except… it wasn’t.

My Prince Charming (that sounds better than FianceeMan) brought me Chinese food and a pink stuffed teddy bear, and sat next to me while I looked like death warmed over, and I couldn’t even talk to tell him “thank you”.

Isn’t that so sweet?

And here we are, 16 years after that, with no plans, no babysitter, and no romantic stories to share on Valentine’s Day.

I could tell you story after story (after story after story) of how Hubs shows me love the whole year through.

I could tell you the things this man has suffered through and done for me that no man should. I could tell you the infinite times he has picked me up from my lowest, and carried me alongside him anyway.

I could tell you how he has sacrificed time and again to make sure the kids and I are cared for.

And I can tell you a whopping zero stories about how I have returned the favor.

I thought about cooking him crab legs for dinner 16 years ago, I got sick, and that’s pretty much the end of it.

I always have good intentions, and never have strong follow through. I know he’ll tell you he feels loved and he knows I’m crazy about him, but if you were to ask him HOW I show him, he would squirm in his seat some before saying, “I don’t know… she just does.”

Because he’s so sweet like that.

So this Valentine’s Day – I want you all to hold me accountable. You’re all being roped in to my marriage, which is frightening and probably dangerous, but here we go.

Help me put others first.

Hold me accountable to putting Hubs first.

Hubs, I will choose you every time over Nutella. Every. Time.

That’s love.

Hold me accountable to putting the littles before myself.

Kids, Mama WILL read that Berenstain Bears book again, even though we just read it 47 bajillion times in a row.

I’m showing my love.

Hold me accountable in making Valentine’s Day – and every day – about loving others first.

Romantically, only Hubs. Maternally, only my kids. Mostly. I kind of mother hen other people too. But we’ll deal with that as it comes.

But love – really love – by seeing the needs of others before my own. When I’m racing around running errands, hold me accountable to seeing the frazzled mama and encouraging her. Hold me accountable to slowing down and observing the gaps around me I can lovingly fill. Whether it’s the child who needs a smile, the grocery clerk who needs a hug, the stranger who just needs a kind deed. Hold me accountable to giving other people memorable days where they felt and experienced the love of Jesus through little ol’ Val.

Whether you’re married, single, hate Valentine’s Day or love it (for the chocolate, obviously), be blessed today.

Don’t get strep throat.

Do get Chinese food.

And know you’re loved, cherished, and cared for.

“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” ~ Colossians 3:14

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